by Dina Gonsar

Entering parenthood changes just about everything. This is common knowledge. However, the level of “tired” is something no one can prepare you for. The thought of true rest seems to becomes somewhat of a joke or fond memory. Then come the barrage of “self-care” messages and images. Instead of finding rest in the everyday small moments we are now wanting to make sure we get the rest “we deserve.”

I do believe that we should be cautious of the “self-care” trend that has become popular in recent years. If we are not careful, to be honest, it can become a new obsession. When I became a new mom I was constantly wondering why someone else had more time to invest in the gym or what I consider leisure activity than I did. I wondered where are they getting all this time for date nights every week? How do people find sitters all the time? I have felt myself becoming frustrated that my time is not structured as someone else’s. Now I am not only striving to be as productive as others, but now I want my rest to like theirs. While none of these things are bad things in isolation, it was the attitude I was forming. While some of us may have the time, and means to live such as this, not everyone has access to the same resources. Therefore, we start feeling as if something is wrong with our lives. We start focusing on what we do not have or have time for. When we start striving or coveting having a certain type of rest, we are making ourselves rest-less in more ways than one.

 In Philippians 4: 11-12, Paul is expressing his gratitude for the Philippians support. He wants them to know that even amid difficult times he has learned to be content. This is where we see the ever-popular verse “I can do all things, through Christ who strengthens me.”

Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance. I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can all things through HIM who strengthens me.

He was not saying you can do whatever you chose and God will automatically bless it. This verse is sometimes taken out of context. Rather, he is saying he rests in the trust he has in the Lord. True rest comes from learning to be content despite the level of your circumstances. When your focus is on your circumstances and not on Jesus you cut off your source of peace.

We live in a social media obsessed world.  Everyone knows what everyone is doing, always. Instead of practicing a grateful heart, paying attention to the joy to be found in our everyday activites. We are chasing after a curated version of life. If it is not the life Jesus has curated for us, we will consistently be dissatisfied and unfulfilled. I have begun to realize real rest comes not just in physical sleep. But rather in the contentment and peace the Lord offers as we truly fix our eyes on him and what he has set before us. We need to focus on finding the joy and necessity in our everyday activities that God sets before us. In the small in-betweens, just as much as larger moments. If we can learn to find joy and relax in those rhythms, without the constant comparison our hearts will find rest. Our hearts and minds will stop running in circles, as we pay attention to his command in Psalm 46:10 , “Be Still and know that I am God;”

Dina Gonsar is the writer and creator behind the popular DishItGirl.com. Dina has shared her recipes and love for family dinner across numerous media outlets both local and national. She is an award-winning home cook that has a heart for encouraging her community both in and out of the kitchen. Dina has a heart for encouraging those right where they are at, especially when it involves the kitchen table. When she isn’t dishing it up on television you can find her in the kitchen with her daughter Siena and her husband Brian in New Jersey. You can learn more about Dina by visiting: www.dishitgirl.com